About two weeks ago, I went to my yoga mat to get reacquainted with it and my legs after our holiday. I stretched a bit then started playing in poses that made me feel happy, made me feel powerful and strong. Some of my absolute favourites are cat-cow, prancing tiger, prancing tigress, and incomplete camel. I did these until my smile appeared then continued to play. I was in shoulder stand and feeling strong and thought about plow. Since I learned early on in yoga not to push myself if something isn’t happening, plow became a pose that I told myself that I ‘couldn’t’ do and always sort of just held my legs there without trying.
I thought that it would be a good idea to try plow this time. Immediately, I told myself that I couldn’t do the full pose, so I should hang there like I do in class, with my legs sort of parallel to the floor. As I was up in shoulder stand, I responded to myself asking why the heck I didn’t just try to do plow. I asked myself what the worst thing that could possibly happen was because even if I fell, I was already laying down!
As soon as I told myself this, and thought that I didn’t need to push myself into it, I relaxed and my feet fell to the floor. They were there. In the full pose. And you know what? It was only about an inch away the whole time. I just couldn’t see it and I doubted myself.
I laid in the pose getting the most wonderful stretch in my back and neck and feeling so freaking awesome. When I came out of it, I knew I needed to remember that what goes on in our head in yoga is a reflection of ourselves.
Tonight in class, my teacher had us practicing head stand and plow. When I tried and heard the clunk of my toes against the wooden floor, I giggled loudly with joy! This even made some of my classmates giggle too. My teacher came by during one of the next few times I was in plow and told me to push my feet and hands into the floor, lifting my bum into the air. That brought the stretch even further and made me feel amazing again. I even tried another pose that I had always hesitated on, realising that I’m so much closer than I ever let myself see.
Plow is my new reminder that when I doubt myself or am fearful of trying, I set unnecessary limits. These limits are irrational and hide from me how close I already am to succeeding! If I just relax and remember that I don’t need to push or doubt, I will fall into the things I am already on the way to doing.